你有没有经历过如此奇怪的事情，感觉好像你在做梦？比如说，彩票中奖，或者获得你真正想要的礼物？或者也许是一场噩梦，一个离奇经历那么的奇怪可怕。一些感觉如此奇怪，如此不真实的东西，你不得不掐自己醒来？从那天起，这展示了我一生的生活方式。每一个醒着的时刻，我都觉得有必要检查一下我是否还在活着。我过我的日子，但却完全没有答案回答为什么。医生没有认真对待我，我父母不认识我，而我最好的朋友也不会停止纠缠我。
然而，除此之外，除了我从转变中感受到的所有压力和痛苦之外，还有一件最重要的事情让我最害怕。我在镜子里看到的东西，我凝视着我在镜子里的身影，已成为了常态。不管我喜欢与否，我照镜子，看到一个可爱的女孩盯着我看。最糟糕的是，我想我可能已经开始喜欢它了，这让我更加害怕。
当我第一次觉得有些事情不对劲时我正在乘坐公共汽车下班回家。有些事情感觉不对劲，我无法分辨它是什么。感觉好像空气本身正在压缩，好像压力在空气中缓慢地形成。我疯狂地看着周围的人，想知道他们是否能够感受到它，但他们似乎并没有感受到异常。空气中的压力形成起来了，我觉得好像被压碎了。我会在这里死吗？
就在感觉我要开始被粉碎时，压力消失了。压力似乎达到了顶峰，然后慢慢退去，在压力缓慢消失的过程中。我几乎快要错过了我的公交停站点，我觉得我甚至无法移动。我迫使自己站起来，慢慢地走到出口，我被公交车司机看了一眼。我下车后蹒跚地走回我的公寓。
我的公寓没什么特别的。这间位于一楼的套房设有小型起居室，卧室和浴室。墙壁是一种奇怪的颜色，似乎是在白色和黄色之间的颜色，门是深褐色的。我打开门，跌跌撞撞地走进起居室，然后坐在沙发上深呼吸。
到目前为止，压力的感觉几乎消失了，但我周围仍然有轻微的刺痛感。我感觉好像有微风吹过我，温柔而且和煦。我站起来喝了一杯水，我注意到喝水过程中，我的喉咙感觉有点刺痛，好像有点轻微的过敏。当我去找我的一些过敏药时，回想起曾经身体周围出现的刺痛，记得那天有点微风。我的感觉真的只是由过敏引起的吗？
我吃完药后，坐回沙发上叹了口气。刺痛虽然不像前面的疼痛那样难以忍受，但是有点烦人，我想在等待药物开始生效的时候做些什么好转移我的注意力到其他事情，看电视可能是一个好主意。我打开电视，决定观看一些我最喜欢的频道，然后再解决我身体的迷惑。突然有些东西开始了，就像是妻子与丈夫的身体互相交换。当我全神贯注在看电视节目时，我突然失去了意识。
我带着难以忍受的头痛醒来，在我还是个小孩的时候，我曾经有过这样的头疼。当我小时候跑步时我的头撞在桌子上，我感到痛苦无比。当我自己从地板上爬起来时，我呻吟了一声。感觉到有些不对劲。就像是我在无意识的情况下增加了几磅体重，但重量增加的位置很奇怪。我感觉到不对劲，我试图看看我是否离奇地增加了一些重量。我的腰部感觉没什么不同，我的手臂上没有了肌肉，我有一头及腰黑发和我往常的头发一样闪亮健康......
看到我的手掌上闪烁着一缕头发，我震惊地把手抽了回来。我的头发应该是短发的，金发的，毛茸茸的，不是这个直长且秀丽的黑发！
“难怪我的体重感觉很奇怪，”我试图理解这是怎么回事。当我迷糊时，我决定去洗手间照照镜子。但是我却再一次昏倒。
我醒来的时候头和以前一样痛，但这次我匆匆的爬了起来。我感到自己和往常不一样，直到我的手触碰到我的脸。这次我的手接触到我的脸部轮廓的经历是我一生以来遇到过的最陌生的体验之一，也许这暗示了之后会发生的其他事情。
我的下巴缩小了，我意识到我的脸看起来更柔软和有女人味，再加上我感觉到的凸起的颧骨。我感觉到我的脖子，这经历感觉就像是亚当偷吃了禁果。我决定去照镜子，不像以前那样，我这次我成功了。
我在镜子中注意到的第一件事是眼睛。它们是巨大的，至少与我曾经的眼睛相比。我必须承认，那个盯着我看的女孩很可爱。她艳丽的眼睛，纤瘦的脸，以及她美丽的秀发衬托着她的脸表现的非常可爱。她的脸上似乎有轻微的脸红，伴随着一脸迷惑。
我需要坐下来。我走到沙发上，深吸一口气。当电视里响起枪声，让我的思维从我的身体里跳出来，我开始清醒过来思考发生在我身上的事情。我抬起头，看到了一个可怕的场景。我现在不需要电视了，所以我摸索着遥控器。关掉电视，我很享受沉默的片刻，然后感觉到我的意识再次即将消失。在我的意识完全消失之前，我试着至少让自己在一个舒适的位置，希望我不会再次出现在地板上。
这次我醒来时头不那么痛苦，我感受到了我的身体有所不同。这次我站起来感觉非常明显，因为我胸部的重量只能意味着一个。当我向下看时，我的衬衫正面向外伸出。这不可能发生。这必须是一个梦。这不可能，这不可能我拥有乳房。而且这些也不是很小。我对女性内衣的尺码不是很了解（至少在当时。很不幸的是我现在很了解它们），但我猜测我至少是一个C杯。
它们并不是唯一改变的东西。我的肩膀更窄，更倾斜，使身体的上半部分更加女性化。我的腰部要细得多，而我穿的牛仔裤正在我的身体上滑落，而我不得不把它抓住。我最终还是选择了放弃，因为我的衬衫几乎像一件外套，覆盖着我的身体。
我当正在研究我的衬衫，试图找到一种舒适的穿着方式，我的手机开始响起。我匆匆走向它，小心的让我的身体不要失去平衡，谁在拨打我的电话。这是我的朋友Ryan，前面提到的“最好的朋友，他不会停止纠缠我。”我不假思索地接了电话，听到我的声音我感到有点震惊。
“你好？”一个温柔的声音传进了电话。这是我的声音，这很糟糕。
“呃，你好？这是Alex的电话吗？“一个困惑，沉闷的声音回答。 “我正在看我的手机联系人，它显示我拨了正确的号码，所以你是谁？”这听起来几乎是指责。在确定这是我的朋友之前，我想了一下该说些什么。“我，嗯，是Alex的一个学校朋友，”我犹豫地说，“他正在帮我学习，但他跑到商店去买一些晚餐的食材。“回头看，这句话说的并不聪明，特别是要考虑到我和谁在说话。
”哇喔！“他通过电话喊道，”Alex终于找到了自己的女孩！那个反社会的家伙终于做到了，对吧？
“不-不是的！“我结结巴巴地说，我非常尴尬，
“我 - 我只是他的一个朋友！”“嗯，嗯，”他的声音变得平静，”那么你的名字是什么，嗯？”
“我简直不敢相信。在这里，我变成了一个女孩，我的这个“朋友”竟然有胆量试着了解我？对于一个他认为与他最好的朋友有关系的女孩，不会不合适吗？真是个笨蛋！
嗯，名字，对吧？我认为像“Alexis”这样的东西太过明目张胆。当我觉得自己开始新的人生时，我试图想出一个名字。“我要挂电话了！”我匆匆地通过电话说道。
“哦，我明白了，”我能感觉到他脸上的坏笑。“嗯，你一定要好好照顾Alex，好吗？我要让所有人都知道那个家伙有了女朋友。
“我暗暗记住，我下次见到他我一定要狠狠的教训他，然后挂断电话。
我醒了一段时间，这次几乎没有头痛。我试图站起来但是却立即失去平衡。有些事情发生了，这次没有错。我注意到我的臀部似乎向外扩张，我的大腿感觉更柔软，几乎就在同时。我感觉好像缺少了一些东西。嗯，感觉不太好。感觉好像从我这里拿走了一些东西，然后换成了不同的东西。我穿的内衣感觉非常不舒服，当我感觉不对的时候，我脱下内衣，差点发出一声尖叫。身体看起来很奇怪，与我之前的情况大不相同。我记得我所经历的性别课程，但我从未想过我会亲自体验她们的女性部分。
这也不是唯一的变化。我不太确定如何描述这个，但感觉好像有什么东西放在我的骨盆里。实际上，我不确信，这又发生了什么。一阵强烈的感觉冲击着我，我又一次坐在沙发上，我忘记了多少次晚上我做了同样的事情。
我深吸了几口气，试图平息我的不安的心和跳跃的思维。这必须是梦。是的，就是这样，一个梦！我用力地捏着手臂，感受到了剧烈的疼痛，而不是醒来。好的，所以不是梦。那是什么？什么东西能做到这一点？
不幸的是，在写这篇文章的时候，我仍然没有得到答案回答这个问题。医生要么拒绝接待我，要么没有认真对待我，甚至有人建议我去精神诊所！这可能是最糟糕的时刻，我的父母不认识我。我感觉好像他们消失了一样，但他们也没有选择，考虑到我经历的事情以及我必须从我的过去中向他们证明我自己。
在沙发上，我打电话给我的一位女性朋友。她似乎有点紧张，但我声音里的绝望似乎已经确定了这不是恶作剧。她过来了，发现我的房间有点乱。在安慰了我之后，她决定帮我测量我身体的尺寸以便能找到些合适的衣服。这有点不舒服，但至少我现在有衣服穿了。我承认这有点令人尴尬，但我确实喜欢她给我买的褶裙......
这就是我的改变。当我下次见到Ryan的时候，我确实向Ryan打了一拳，但他只是嘲笑我。不过，我也从中得到了一些解脱。他从起初认为这只是一个恶作剧，到我几个月前改变以来，他似乎已经意识到这不是一个笑话。他至少已经不再嘲笑我了。我搬回来和我的父母一起住了，他们似乎有点不适应。我的妈妈适应得很好，但我父亲却似乎很孤单。我不禁为他感到难过，因为他是这个家庭中唯一的男人了。尽管如此，他还是相当不错的适应了，因为他接受了所有发生的事情。我每天都在继续寻找答案，试图找出发生在我身上的事情。我可能已经接受了暂时生活的像个女孩，甚至已经开始喜欢这个身体，但我永远不会停止寻找答案。我保证当有人能读到这篇文章时，我总有一天能得到答案。
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* `# c* p$ W9 M6 g) L2 u7 C9 tLike a Nightmare TG
Have you ever experienced something so strange that it felt as though you were in a dream? Say, winning a lottery ticket, or getting something you really wanted as a present? Or perhaps a nightmare, a bizarre sequence that was strange and terrifying. Something that felt so strange, so unreal, that you had to pinch yourself to wake up? Ever since that day, that’s how my entire life has been. Every waking moment, I feel the need to check if I’m actually still awake. I have to live my days with absolutely no answer to the why or how. The doctors haven’t taken me seriously, my own parents don’t recognize me, and my best friend won’t stop pestering me.
However, beyond all that, beyond all the pressure and stress I have felt from my transformation, one thing above all others frightens me the most. What I see in the mirror, the reflection that stares back at me, has become the norm to me. Whether I like it or not, I look in the mirror and see a cute girl staring back at me. Worst of all, I think I may actually have started to like it and that frightens me beyond belief.
I was riding the bus home from work when I first felt that something was off. Something didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t tell what it was. It felt as though the air itself was compressing around, as though a pressure was slowly building in the air. I looked frantically around at the people around me, wondering if they could feel it as well, but they seemed to be going about their daily business. The pressure built, and I felt as though I was being crushed. Was I going to die here?
Just as it started, it ended. The pressure seemed to reach its peak, and then slowly recede, Emphasis on the slowly part. I almost missed my stop because I felt like I couldn’t even move. Forcing myself to get up, I made my way over to the exit slowly, earning a look from the bus driver. I got off the bus on hobbled to my apartment.
My apartment is nothing special. It is a first floor suite, with a small living area, a bedroom, and bathroom. The walls have a strange coloration that seems to fall between white and yellow, and the door is a dark brown. I opened the door and stumbled into the living room before sitting down on the couch and taking a deep breath.
By this point the sensation of pressure seemed to have all but disappeared, and yet a slight tingling remained around me. It felt almost as if a light breeze was blowing on me, gentle and ever present. I stood up to get a glass of water, and I noticed while drinking it that my throat felt a little prickly, as if slightly raw from allergies. The tingling around my body persisted as I went to go get some of my allergy medicine, remembering that it had been somewhat breezy that day. Could what I have felt earlier really only been caused by allergies?
After I got the medicine, I sat back down on the couch and heaved a sigh. The tingling, while not unbearable like the pressure had been earlier, was a bit annoying, and I figured that doing something to take my mind off of it while I waited for the medicine to kick in might be a good idea. I flipped on the TV, and decided to surf some of my favorite channels, before settling on a murder mystery. It had just started, and it seems that it was to follow the pattern of a wife finding her husband’s body. I’d started to get a little engrossed in the show when I suddenly lost consciousness.
I awoke with an unbearable headache, the likes of which I’d only felt once before when I was a child and had banged my head against a table while running, sending me sprawling. I gave a groan as I heaved myself up off of the floor. Something felt wrong. Almost as if I’d gained a few pounds while unconscious, but the placement of the weight was weird. I felt myself, trying to see if I’d magically gained some weight. My waist felt the same, I didn’t seem to have gained anymore muscle on my arms, my waist-length black hair seemed as shiny and healthy as ever…
I jerked my hand back in shock after seeing the strands of hair shimmering in my palm. My hair was supposed to short, blonde, and shaggy, not this straight and beautiful black hair!
“No wonder my weight felt weird getting up off the ground,” I thought to myself while trying to make sense of what was going on. I decided to try and make my way over to the bathroom mirror, when I blacked out once more.
I awoke with the same headache as earlier, but this time I hurriedly got up off of the ground. I felt myself all over, yet I could feel any changes until I got to my face. Running my hands over the contours of my face was one of the most alien experiences I’ve ever had, perhaps only matched by what was to come shortly afterwards.
My jawline had shrunk, making me realize my face must look much softer and feminine, coupled with the raised cheekbones I felt. I felt around my neck, and noted the lack of my Adam’s apple. I decided to head over to the mirror, and unlike before, I made it this time.
The first thing that I noticed in my reflection was the eyes. They were huge, at least compared to what I was used to seeing in my reflection. The girl staring back at me was quite cute, I must admit. Her gorgeous eyes, her slim face, and the way her beautiful black hair traced her face was quite lovely. A slight blush seemed to hang on her face, along with a look of total confusion.
I needed to sit down. I made my way over to the couch, and took a few deep breathes. I was just starting to clear my mind and think about what was happening to me when a gunshot rang out from the TV, causing me to jump out of my skin. I looked up and was met with a grisly scene. I didn’t need this right now, so I fumbled for the remote. Turning the TV off, I enjoyed the few moments of silence, before I could feel my consciousness starting to slip again. I tried to at least get myself into a comfortable position before I fully slipped away, hoping that I wouldn’t end up on the floor again.
I woke up to a slightly less painful headache this time, and knew that something had to be different. This time it was very obvious as I stood up, as the weight I felt on my chest could only mean one. The front of my shirt was tenting outward as I glanced down. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be a dream. There was no way-no way- that I could have breasts. And these weren’t exactly small, either. I’m not very knowledgeable on the sizes of women’s underwear (at least, at the time. I am unfortunately quite knowledgeable on them now), but I had to guess I was at least a C-Cup.
They weren’t the only thing that had changed, either. My shoulders were much narrower and gentler sloping, giving the upper part of a body a more feminine appearance. My waist was much thinner, and the jeans I had been wearing were slipping right off of my body without me holding them up. I eventually just let them fall, as my shirt felt almost like a coat with the way it draped over me.
I was fumbling around with the shirt, trying to find a way to wear that was comfortable, when my phone started going off. I hurried over to it, careful not to lose my balance, and looked to see who was calling me. It was my friend Ryan, the aforementioned “best friend who won’t stop pestering me.” I answered the phone unthinkingly, and was a bit shocked to hear my voice.
“Hello?” a soft, gentle voice called into the phone. This was bad.
“Uhh, hello? Is this Alex’s phone?” a confused, deep voice answered. “I’m looking at my contacts and it says I dialed the right number, so who are you?”
That sounded almost accusatory. I thought a bit about what to say, before deciding that I was one of my friends.
“I’m, um, one of Alex’s friends from school,” I said hesitantly, “He was helping me study, but he had to run to the store to get some ingredients for dinner.” Looking back on it, not the smartest thing I could have said, especially considering who I was talking to.
“Whooo-hooo!” he hollered back though the phone, “Alex finally got himself a girl! That antisocial guy finally did it, huh?”
“N-no!” I stammered, horribly embarrassed, “I-I’m just one of his friends!”
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, trying to sound suave, “So what’s your name, hmm?”
I couldn’t believe. Here I was, in the middle of turning into a girl, and this “friend” of mine has the audacity to try and hit on me? On a girl who he thinks is a relationship with his best friend, no less? What an ass!
Hmm, a name, huh? I figured something like “Alexis” would be too blatant. I was trying to think of a name when I felt myself starting to slip away again.
“I-I need to go!” I muttered hastily through the phone.
“Ooh, I see,” I could sense the dumb grin on his face through the phone, “Well, you make sure to good care of Alex, y’hear? I of all people know that guy could use a girl.”
I made a mental note to punch him as hard as I could next time I saw him, before hanging up and blacking out.
I woke up some time later, this time with almost no headache. I tried to stand up and immediately lost my balance. Earlier, things felt off, but this time things felt plain wrong. I noticed that my hips seemed to have expanded outward, and my thighs felt softer, but that were almost a second thought. It felt as though something was missing. Well, not quite. It felt as though something had been taken from me, and then replaced with something different. The underwear I was wearing felt extremely uncomfortable, so I took it off, almost letting out a shriek when I saw what felt wrong.
The flesh looked strange, far different than what I was used to. I remembered the sex ed classes I’d had to go through, but I never thought I would be experiencing the female portion of them first hand. That wasn’t the only change, either. I’m not exactly sure how to describe this, but it felt almost as if something had been placed in my pelvis. Actually, I don’t suppose, given that’s pretty much what happened. A massive wave of light headedness overwhelmed me, and I sat down on the couch once again, having lost track of how many times I’d done the same thing that night.
I took several deep breathes, trying to calm both my racing heart and my racing mind. This had to be dream. Yes, that was it, a dream! I pinched my arm as hard as I could, and was met with a sharp pain instead of waking up. Okay, so not a dream. Then what was this? What could have possibly done this?
Unfortunately, at the time of writing this, I still don’t have an answer to that question. The doctors have either turned me down or not taken me seriously, and one even recommended me to a mental clinic! That was probably the worst moment, tied only with my parents not recognizing me. I still feel as though they don’t, but they also don’t have a choice, given what I’ve had to go though and what I’ve had to pull up from my past just to prove it to them.
After lying on the couch for a bit, I called one of my female friends. She seemed to be a little weirded out, but the desperation in my voice seemed to have convinced that it wasn’t a prank. She came over, and found in a bit of a mess. After comforting me a bit, she decided to help me get sized so that I could get some clothes. It was a bit uncomfortable, but at least I have clothes to wear now. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but I really do like the pleated skirt she bought me…
That about wraps things up in regards to my transformation. I actually did throw a punch at Ryan when I next saw him, but he just laughed it off. Still, I got some relief out of that. I think he thought this was all a prank at first, but since I changed several months ago, he seems to have realized this isn’t a joke. He at least has stopped hitting on me.
I’ve moved back in with my parents, who seem to be a bit weirded out by the situation. My mom has taken a bit well, but my dad seems lonely. I can’t help but feel bad for him, now that he’s the only guy in the family. Still, he’s been fairly nice since he accepted what’s happened. I continue to search for answers, day in day out, in attempt to find out what happened to me. I may have accepted living as a girl for the time being, possibly even to have started to like the way this body is, but I will never stop searching. I promise anyone reading this that I will one day have my answers.
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